Sunday, October 09, 2005

The strangest fight.

So I remember, four months back, and I tell:

The Strangest Fight.

On that obstreperous night, I was returning to my house after buying a pack of cigarettes; same path: Eje 3, cafetales and cañaverales. It was 10 p.m. and I was feeling anxious and ill-humored (it had been a tough month, not to mention a hedious year), so I decided to light a smoke to kill my mood and meanwhile myself... terrible thought in relation to the later events.

-Click, click- the lighter said.

-Ja, ja, ja, ja!!!!- whispered a blur on my right.

-Huh?- I thought, bored.

Out of nowhere I was on the floor with my liver feeling like an overinflated soccer ball.

The planet earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do.

While incorporating, in the few seconds before the next hit (he was swinging a baseball bat of some sort), I was wondering the location of my recent lit cigarette while by the miracle of reflexes I block his atack with my shoulder noticing something sharp on the bat - glass?, nails?.

I saved my face, but the hit got me back to the floor. I turned up my face to look the origin of the laughter.

The blur on my right turned out to be a huge (5 inches taller than me and fat like Marlon Brandon on his last days) playmobile laughing at my misery, by the corner of my eye I could see the reflexion of the streetlamp upon his soon-will-be-broken blue braces.

Analysing the situation rapidly, I supposed it was a robbery -Well, there is always a first time, dear- I thought -Don't be stupid and try to save your theet. Give him what he wants-. So I decided to gave up my wallet (I was not so sure about my Camel pack). I was trying to stand up again and at the same time I was reaching my back pocket in an attempt to throw the wallet and run, when I felt an amateur, but unlucky kick on my left kidney that sent me at the feet of Braces, and I heard another laughter -this one sounded like a hyena.

-Ji, ji, jiii!!!, juar, juar, juar!- moaned Hyena.

Great, now I'm airless and I want to pee.

I was watching the metal plate on Braces's shoes:


-I'm going to die in hands of Gucci's wearers, not quite poetic- I thought, surrending myself to my unusual fate. But then IT came.

-Gucci?!- yelled my brain furiously -Are you really going to take this shit? Can a couple of playmobiles wearing two hundred dollars shoes take you out this easily? What is it? You have been beaten up worse, by much more valuable people, you're not even hurt!. Proove you worth something. On your feet, lazy worm-.

Meanwhile, Braces and Hyena were still laughing and laughing, in crescendo; giving me the time to catch up my breath and touch my shoulder for a damage review. Blood. It is barely slashed, not cut. Must be nails.

My brain was traveling at a G5's speed knitting an efective strategy. If there isn't a third bozo waiting to have part in the surreal scene, I may have a chance to inflict some serious injuries to these retarded assholes.

Think, damn it!.

Like an epiphany, suddenly it came to me: "If he is bigger, you have to be nastier". Words of wisdome by my former ninjitsu instructor, Mike.

I stand up like quickly and grab Braces by the testicles. He stop laghing and began shriking, letting go of his bat.

Tick. The bat hit the paviment.

You don't look so big now, huh?

I begin to twist and squeeze and twist and pull. Now he was pale and mute. Big Bad Blue Braces was no longer a threat. I felt another amateur kick, this time on my back thigh, didn't care much.

I let go (for now) the twisted testicles of Braces and turned around to face Hyena, he was skinny, but with such a belly that suggested an affition to excesive beer or booze; he was wearing those horrendous shell necklaces that were pretty hip like a year ago. His shirt was pink.

I must have had an unusual look in my eyes, because when he saw me his eyes went small and darker. Nevertheless, he was still in a fighting mood and he threw a slow, amateur cross. I smiled and received his punch with my front skull, like bowing quickly to him.

-Ah!! My hand!!!- dared to protest Hyena.

I remembered Aristoteles: andreia, the greek word for courage. I remebered Diomedes cutting Ares's hand, Vercingetorix chopping romans, Marv torturing hitmen... and I unleashed my guts.

I kicked Hyena on his right knee in a downward angle.


The sound gave me the goosebumps, but I kind of liked it.

Now he was howling in pain, and I smiled again. I kicked him again, now in the middle torso. The howling stoped and he hit the ground silently.


He was trying to get up ridiculously, carrying his dead leg with the right hand and with his other hand grabing the border of the sidewalk. I persuade him not to.

His nose met my right knee at an unsafe speed.

Crack. Lights out for Hyena.

With my heart beating fast and my hands shaking with an unsatisfied rage, I turn around to face Braces. Sorry man, I forgot you. He was in a fetal position shrivering and trembling, with both hands on his groin.
I made him face upward with a push of my boot, then I knelt on top of him, and I punched him and hit him and punched him and hit him. He didn't seem to care.
I incorporated and felt my arms aching. Too many punches, I got carried away. My fists were on fire, I looked at them: a dirty mix of meat and blood. I looked at Former Braces, his face looked just like my fists.

Well, he won't bite apples in a while, that's for sure.

A bit ashamed of my mess, I looked for my litten cigarette without sucess. I took another one from the pack and lit it, looking around. A big paralelepipedal piece of wood catch my atention, it had nails on one edge. Exhaling smoke, I kicked Former Braces on the ribs once. I notice one of the nails had a piece of myself on it. I kicked him again, harder, in the groin.

I started to limp towards home remembering Sun Tzu: "The overfullness of hability is not having a hundred victories in a hundred battles. The overfullness of hability is been victorious without a battle." I felt ashamed, scared and insulted. Who on earth carry a wood with nails to rob? Who were Hyena and Former Braces? Was this some kind of vendetta?.

-Don't know, don't care. It's been a hell of a year- I respond to myself out loud, rubbing my shoulder -Shit happens, don't take it too personally-.

But I do took it personally, I got home and cried tearsless while cleaning my shoulder in front of the mirror. This was the strangest fight I ever had.
Fucking crazy playmobiles.


Blogger Sofía said...

actívale la cosita esa para que no te pongan mamadas como la de arriba...yo tampoco soy buena para eso de los social's my best advice... Nice you have a blog. Welcome!

Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger Silent said...

Cosita de arriba? Vas a tener que hablar más slowly querida. Not much braincells alive, you know?

Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:22:00 PM  
Blogger Adrian said...

Buen Blog el tuyo.
Horas antes del comienzo de tu relato, te acababa de conocer, y minutos después, ya estábamos cheleando. Me caíste bien. No creí que te animases tan pronto para escribir un blog... lo digo como si te conociése desde hace mucho tiempo.
Ese estilo que tienes para decir lo que quieres me gusta. Tú estilo y el de Abraham me gustan
( te linkeé.
Gusto en leerte.

Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:41:00 PM  
Blogger faithless dragon-boy said...

que gusto tenerte tambien en la blogosfera, nice blog, me gusta tu forma de narrar las cosas, y que experiencia tan loca esa de los playmobiles....nos estamos leyendo...

Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:49:00 PM  
Blogger Silent said...

Gracias por sus comentarios.
Adrián: Disfruté el rato compartiendo los litros de Indio y León. Me gusta la manera en que manejas los diálogos (Yo soldado parte II). Nos leemos..

Emmanuel: A mí me gustó tu poesía -cosa que no se me da, la neta- aunque empiezo a sospechar que tienes feelings por cierta profesora...

Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:58:00 PM  
Blogger Sofía said...

ya César, no intentes caerle bien, sí? Mejor vean mi blog

Monday, October 10, 2005 12:21:00 AM  
Blogger Sofía said...

eso de poner links (ehem, añadir los blogs a tu blog) me resulta estúpidamente complicado y no lo sé hacer. No debería gustarles hacer eso...Sí, uno es ardilla cuando está en desventaja. chis!

Monday, October 10, 2005 12:23:00 AM  
Blogger Sofía said...

ay cais mal, sí cais...

Monday, October 10, 2005 12:25:00 AM  
Blogger Edith said...

Bien que ya tengas blog...eres rapido yo me tarde meses en decidirlo y me tardo mas meses en escribir pero en fin...le tienes que poner una cosa como para que escriban una palabra los que te dejen comentarios porque si no se te llena de te sientas mal Sofia yo tampoco se poner los links en mi blog hay que preguntar como en vez de vernos ardidas¡¡¡

Monday, October 10, 2005 1:11:00 AM  
Blogger Sofía said...

En verdad me siento bien siendo así, gracias.
golb im naev...mensaje subliminal eh?

Monday, October 10, 2005 10:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog sucks, your english is pretty bad, why don't you write in spanish? Looser

Monday, October 10, 2005 4:38:00 PM  
Blogger Minnie said...


acuérdense del pendejo fosforescente.

desde lejos se ve que ahí viene un pendejo...

Monday, October 10, 2005 4:58:00 PM  
Blogger Silent said...

Either you like it or not.
Don't like it? Don't read it!, and show the world your SUPERB english, instead of hiding yourself. Please, do not be bashful.

Monday, October 10, 2005 6:45:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Gabriel, es un placer conocerte (aunque no en persona, eres muy bienvenido a la comunida de los bloggeros de la Facultad. Me encanta lo que has escrito y recuerda mi pequeño saltamontes que... siempre puedes borrar los comentarios.
PD Estas Linkeado.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 12:40:00 AM  
Blogger Ernesto said...

Pues me uno a hacer bola a celebrar el blog de Gabriel. No he tenido tiempo de linkear a todos ustedes, pero lo haré, seguro regresando del viaje. Quién me hubiera dicho que habría tanta juventú de la fac blogueando.

Hacer links es fácil. Fíjense en su template. Nomás sustituyan los links que ya vienen predeterminados (el de blogger, creo) por los URLs o direcciones de los blos que desean linkear.

Con cuidado porque mover cualquier cosita en el template causa catástrofes. Así que si no saben HTML bien, recomiendo respaldar su template, copiándolo en cualquier documento de procesamiento de texto, por cualquier cosa.

Saludos a tod@s, pues.

(Y recomiendo ignorar a los mosquitos).

Y para Gabriel: en tu opción para comentarios en tu dashboard de tu blog, ponle la verificación de palabras, para que no tengas spam ni puedan comentar anónimos.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 4:14:00 PM  
Blogger [Insert Author's False Name] said...

Al fin puedo ver tu blog. Es bastante bueno (por lo menos este post). La experiencia que tuviste es bastante extraña, creo que a nadie le hubiese gustado estàr en tu lugar, pero menos en el de los otros tipos.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 5:24:00 PM  
Blogger Edith said...

ya ves Sofia...ahora todo mundo sabe que no sabemos poner links...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 10:18:00 PM  
Blogger Sofía said...

sí, esa era la cosita que te decía, ves?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger mar said...

Por fin leí tu blog (más vale 4 días después que nunca...)

Mira que me gusta cómo escribes ( la gente puede decir misa).

El contexto de la historia cambió mucho para mí al leerla. Es interesante cómo te expresas con palabras escritas.

Voy a leer los demás y te aviso.


P.D: Tardé siglos porque tuve qué crear uan cuenta para opinar jejeje

Thursday, October 13, 2005 10:17:00 PM  
Blogger faithless dragon-boy said...

pues asi como que feelings no, me inspira, no se porque, pero no mal interpreten, es mas que nada admiración, por cierto tu ingles es mucho mejor que el mio, aquel anonimo realmente es un pendejo...

Friday, October 14, 2005 1:10:00 PM  

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